so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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