Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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