I think my vagina is haunted
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
