I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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