They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Drunk is not a location!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
