i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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