I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
