So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
