for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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