Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
