just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
