Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
