People in love make me want to vomit
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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