Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
