I wanna bring you to show and tell
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
