you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Randomize
