Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
