you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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