He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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