do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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