ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
