please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
thus making me awesome and them whores
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
