We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
