so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize