community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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