My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
