whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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