Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize