you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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