so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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