Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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