wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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