Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
