epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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