therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
