he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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