I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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