Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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