We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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