k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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