i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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