i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's like iHOP with fire
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
