In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
