Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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