did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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