I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize