If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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