First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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