Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
