sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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