This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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