Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
