I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
