so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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