Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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