How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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