my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize