playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You made out with two different species that night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
