Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
