so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
