I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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