Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize