he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
my liver is dry heaving
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
