Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize