the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I will die if light touches me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
