glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
