What did we do last night that was yellow?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
