I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
