Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
