And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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