genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
