I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
