I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
