We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
