obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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