do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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