How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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