I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
